The second of my two very vivid childhood dreams reveals why I am not crushed by the other one, where our world crumbles away beneath our feet. While that dream foretold the extinction event we are currently experiencing, this one reminds me that no matter how much terror, anxiety, depression or grief we experience, there is wisdom in the shadows.
In this dream, i am a boy, wearing a classical toga and leather sandals. I run across the desert sands to an enormous dome building. I am very comfortable here and climb some stairs, which wrap around the dome to a flat concourse. There is simple, unreflective joy in my heart – the kind we experience so easily as children and so rarely as adults.
Suddenly, something moves in a shadow to my left. I look back, jolted by a ripple of fear in response to this movement. Out of the shadow of a stairwell an old man appears. We stare at each other for a moment, while I am frozen to the spot, wondering what will happen next, still a little scared. He smiles. There is warmth in his eyes, knowing emanates from his visage; he is comfortable in the world and wants me to feel the same.
At his smile, my childish innocence and faith in life instantly reappear. I turn back to run along the rampart. As i do, i look more closely into the clay bricks of the domed wall. There i see tiny capillaries in the wall, which i had never noticed before.
The renewed depth i discover in my vision, as a result of this apparition, works to balance the joyful innocence of the boy. Importantly, out of the shadows appears not threat, but comfort; the wise old man of archetypal power contains a frisson of danger, as true gnosis (or inner knowing) always has. But with his smile I do not fall into fear, but into an edge of discovering the unknown instead; it is the mystery that lasts and draws me along.
The Old Man expresses that wisdom or spark in us that is beyond the comforts of everyday life, what we have become used to, the personality we identify with. He is not an emissary of conventional religion, like the priests who promise hope for our lives after death if we obey their holy writ. He obeys only the imperative that is crystallised in the image: the archetypal Old Man brings wisdom from the realms beyond what we are thus far aware of; that is the whole point. Jung became wise enough through his contact with the archetypes to know they bring together a wide range of possibilities.
Coming out of the darkness, he brings wisdom – and we never needed it more than now, as we face the catastrophic, combined realities of anthropogenic climate change, ecosystem breakdown, increasing political instability and the widespread extinction event that has already begun. However, it would be facile to claim that out of the darkness (of what is happening to our planet right now) a light will come. I write of my dream now not to promise a new dawn, or comfort us with any other simplistic metaphor designed to avoid taking responsibility for the ecocide our species is responsible for. Empty hope and cheap consolation do not honour the untold suffering that will be visited upon humanity as we begin to discover what crop failures, superstorms, megafires and freakish flood events really feel like. The extinction of so many of our animal cousins and plant kin alike deserves more. It deserves awareness.
We can develop deeper awareness by looking into the Shadow, seeking the wisdom that arises from our place of not knowing. This is how the Mystery Schools found faith in gnosis for over 2,000 years. Yet, while we explore our own inner realms and Wizened Old figures, staring into the darkness without guidance can lead to despair. For as Nietzsche so presciently wrote, when we stare into the abyss, it stares back into us. What do I find when I look into the shadow, of myself and of my race? Something tells me that, if I look deeply enough, I will find not only what I fear, but what grants me greater insight, too – and perhaps even an element of solace.
I have written before about how we can find this, even when we realise that we are enmeshed in, and therefore part of, the system that is destroying the earth. With the dream of the Old Man, I recall that there is wisdom beyond courage; beyond environmental activism, beyond righteous indignation at the failure of our leaders, beyond the sad but inevitable realisation that the world as we know it is now collapsing beneath our feet.
The Old Man does not forgive the evils of transnational corporate greed, which have ensured our downfall; nor does he forget the corrupt media that sells the stories of the military industrial complex. But neither does the archetypal Old Man want to beat us up with guilt, since we have failed to stop the madness and destruction. He understands that the evolution of technology, the politics of power, the fact that we were born into this damnable system without willing it, the way we were sold the modern mythology of work, profit, holidays, breeding up and finally retiring to play Scrabble or bowls … all of this is beyond our power to change, except to the extent that we can make better choices.
The better choice we could make right now is to transfer our values from the damaging system of capitalist profiteering to the timeless tales of power, wisdom, grace that remain available to us in our dreams, our myths, our symptoms and even in our nightmares. The Mystery School lives on, because it is a representation of the ancient wisdom coursing through our veins and dancing in our DNA right now.
There is no future – the kids doing tang ping have figured it out – but there never really was. What is left to us now, beyond apathy and resignation, is deepening of the soul, refining of the spirit, transformation of the self. Nothing good will come of our planetary death throes and no amount of hand wringing, sobbing or admission of guilt will alleviate this awful reality. Rather, i will recall the wisdom of that old man and consider the life of the butterfly as my guiding metaphor. We crawl away to create a cocoon, withdraw within it, and dissolve into goop. These old selves must die.
Every traditional culture teaches that part of us passes over to another realm. With an ear on that wisdom, i have faith that my soul will crystallize into a new lifeform, in a new dimension, where i will find the strength to grow, until i am ready to break out and fly free, on another adventure. One day i will be that old man, looking out from the shadows, unexpectedly frightening the children i meant to comfort, while helping them to see that looking into the depths will deepen their vision, their insight, their capacity to look more clearly into who they are and what their relationship to the earth is.
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Images: Featured Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash;; clay Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash; Painting of a sea monster by Carl Jung, from his Red Book; painting of a fire serpent by Carl Jung, from his Red Book.
Depth psychologist Carl Jung was fascinated by the medieval Alchemists, who apparently tried to turn lead to gold. It probably comes as no surprise that this was always a metaphor. It is as if they knew that by refining metals they were exposing themselves to the powers of the gods, seeking a higher truth from earthly existence. Lead revealed Saturn, the ruler of dark matter, the cold, dark ground of being; Tin expressed Jupiter’s breath of life; Iron the military will of Mars; Copper the irresistible beauty of Venus; Mercury the fluid messenger; Silver the intuitive Moon and Gold the Sun, the incorruptible soul and aim of Alchemy. We work through the aspects of the earthly life, just as we learn each personality trait of the Zodiac, or try to balance out the extrovert and introvert sides of ourselves, or undergo any other training towards a more centred, self-aware self.
The Alchemist was clearly a pagan, or nature lover. They found inspiration everywhere, with English alchemist Sir George Ripley (c. 1415–90) writing that “birds and fishes” bring us the gold, “it is in every place, in you, in me, in everything, in time and space.” In fact, I believe that the language of Alchemy was notoriously obscure because they knew they were dabbling in heresy and wanted to avoid persecution by the Christian church. While the Alchemists were careful to praise God in ‘His’ heavens, they sought an enlightened state from within the body of the earth, searching among the elements for the mysterious powers placed there by the planets, who of course to this point in history have been closely associated with the pagan gods and goddesses of early astrology. As such, I see Alchemy as another valid attempt by European natural philosophers to rebalance Christianity’s dissociative state when it comes to our human relationship with nature and the divine.
So, what might be the enlightened existence we could imagine as the goal of an alchemical process today? Jung was no New Age idealist; he knew that we have to work on our own Shadow, or dark side, if we are to attain a true light within. If we are to radiate with self-awareness, we can recall the ancient dictum to Know Thyself. But we know nowadays that this can’t be an unbalanced consciousness of merely mental power; it also includes emotional intelligence, a connection with gut instinct, and generally a more embodied notion of an enlightened or awakened person whose glow emanates from the whole body.
And, it must be more than merely a personal quest; we must aim for the awakening of all beings and the vitality of the entire ecosystem. This is another return to tradition, in order to become more fully awake in the current moment (one of my favourite themes). When someone from an indigenous tribe went on a vision quest, it wasn’t for personal power or selfish aims; it was for the people, the land, the collective, including human and more-than-human beings.
That means, nowadays, that we have to integrate our own shadow, as well as dealing with the archetypal poisons of greed, hatred and ignorance in humanity as a whole. We can’t do this for anyone else, but again, we can look to powerful stories that have stood the test of time to find out what they might suggest to us today.
Taoist symbol of integration, dark and light and all seemingly opposing forces working together
Light is born from darkness, and ends up back there, just as we are born out of the matter of the universe and return to it upon death. When we get more comfortable with this, we can come to a place where we honour the ‘darkness’ of the earth and express our love for it, giving thanks for being the ancient, timeless birthplace out of which consciousness emerges. What we don’t know is not the enemy, it just needs a midwife. We must be gentle, loving, compassionate and generous towards what we think is the darkness, because it is also the ancient mystery, home of the Goddess, who has all too often been suppressed by a patriarchal power complex.
Jung pointed towards the Sacred Marriage, an ancient rite whereby we unite the polarities of the genders, the male and female within. To get beyond the personal and really stretch ourselves as ecological citizens, kin with the other animals and plants and places, not just arrogant users and abusers of the earth, we need to integrate the light and dark energies of life. This means getting comfortable with cycles of life and death, predator and prey, agricultural seasons of emergence, harvest and withdrawal. The call comes from deep within nature, either from within our inner souls or from within nature itself, outside of our bodies, from the rocks and trees, animals and elements.
Calling upon nature – within and without, earthly and celestial – for its mystical powers is closely related to animist practices, which we can embrace as our birthright and cultural history too. We can consort with animal spirits as totems and familiars, call up the spellbinding powers of the plants and planets, make compacts with the ancient gods and goddesses of the heavens and the local spirits of place, or genius loci, and become more complete in any time and place. With practice and guidance, we can realise our completely unique manifestation as a person, every moment and experience of which has never happened before and can never be repeated, utterly complete and impermanent at the same time, another flowering of the endless manifestation of humanity out of the soil of the earth. This is Alchemy today, the Heroic Journey, Grail Quest or Sacred Marriage of the 2020s. These are the rites of transformative initiation that shift us into another phase of life.
Join Dr Geoff Berry in your practice of transformation now.
Contact via the Nature Calling website or FB page for your personal rites, which will deepen your connection to the sacred powers of nature within and without, earthly and celestial.
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How can we learn to live in the light, more often, with better outcomes?
Let’s start with the physical reality of being lit from within, with a loving glow, and then work our way towards putting that into practice in everyday life. First of all, if you have had an experience like this, there is no reason to doubt its value or ‘truth’, because we are literally lit from within, just as all matter is aglow with life. Part of any modern concept of ‘enlightenment’ must include this physical reality: that all life radiates out from a cosmic conflagration in space, which is still happening everywhere, all the time. Light is associated with so many positive connotations because of this fundamental life-giving force. This is why an experience of inner light and its gnosis is so highly valued, whether it arrives spontaneously or is inspired by a particularly radiant sunrise or sunset, the romance of moonlight, the simple glint of a dewdrop on a leaf, sparkling in the breeze, or any other phenomenon.
However, despite learning from physics that everything is made from starlight, including our minds and bodies, the origin of consciousness still remains a sacred mystery. Being self-aware allows us to live a life filled with meaning and spiritual growth. Understanding how and why light has been used as the preeminent metaphor for consciousness – for our ability to think, to read these words, to consider them, weigh them up and decide where we stand in relation to them – can deepen our capacity to become more awake to the miracle of our lives as conscious beings.
I have also learnt, mainly from my experience of meditation practices, but also from neuroscience, that this realisation can improve with practice, just like everything else. As self-aware primates, we truly are the universe becoming aware of itself. Both our bodies and our minds are lit from within, in a way that overcomes the seeming separation of mind and matter. In fact, we are better off thinking of ourselves as a ‘bodymind’ that glows with life and consciousness, something the shamanic arts have always known. Experiencing this realisation can dissolve doubt and confusion, leaving spiritual generosity, forgiveness, understanding and gratitude in its wake.
Now, we need to rekindle the light within more than ever. In a ‘post-truth’ world riven with fake news and political corruption, media propaganda and data mining, we need trustworthy guidance. This will become increasingly important as climate chaos, resource wars and other forms of societal breakdown threaten us with correspondingly fierce internal storms of anxiety, depression and grief.
Such guidance is available to us, both as we grow in faith in our own personal abilities to discern right from wrong and in great stories filled with the power and authority of collective wisdom. These kinds of stories are traditionally called myths. Mythic lore is not merely the fanciful narratives we have been taught to mistrust, as if they were the childlike explanations of a universe that hadn’t yet been explained away by science. Myths are multidimensional universes of information, designed to enable us to manoeuvre through chaos and evolve beyond dangerous new circumstances. The mythic symbol of light is especially capable at conveying such information, when it is interpreted with respect, appreciation and familiarity.
‘That Inner Glow’ Retreat is now SOLD OUT. However, the book is forthcoming, so keep your eyes open for that later in the year!
Have you ever experienced the feeling that you are lit from within? Like you were radiating with an inner glow, which emanates love for yourself and for the whole universe. Calmed by a deep sense of knowing that all is well, but without judgement, agenda or limit. Sensing that you are a beacon in the ocean of experience, a star in deep space, a flaming furnace on a cold winter’s night, or simply enjoying a sense of warmth and comfort that came from nowhere, with no reason, but could not be denied.
When I was around seven years old, I was walking down the road near my home, along a dusty path near a beach lined with Norfolk Pine trees. Seemingly from nowhere, I felt a warm golden light glowing out of my core, enveloping everything in its love. In that moment, I knew that all would be well, for myself and others, as long as we trusted in that inner glow and its emanation of unconditional embrace.
I’d done nothing in particular to deserve this spontaneous experience, but neither could I pretend it hadn’t happened. It lasted for a while then faded away, just as days pass and we grow older. Since then, I’ve spent a lifetime seeking to understand the mysteries of light.
Across the course of this meandering path, I always trusted that sense of inner knowing, which the ancients called gnosis; but I learnt to question it too. In fact, if there was a soundtrack to my path towards adulthood, it would be Supertramp’s Logical Song. I found out how all those grownups became so seemingly crazy and confused, as I became one of them.
One thing I’ve noticed is that no matter who we are, if we can find more of that inner glow, tend to it and help it grow, we can come from that place of self-love and inner warmth more often. When we glow from within, others respond, and the light overcomes the darkness of ignorance, selfishness and confusion.
Throughout my life, I have spent decades studying the world’s myths and legends during an MA on dreaming and a PhD on light, learning to meditate, teaching, sitting still in nature, and contemplating the universe as it is manifest both right here and far, far away. Finally, I trust my findings enough to share them. And, because we all want an experience of life as well as a meaning for it, I’m going to offer this teaching at retreat, as well as in a book.
Join me, Dr Geoff Berry, at the ‘That Inner Glow’ Autumn Retreat at Bawley Bush Retreat, Bawley Point, NSW, with Clare Lovelace & local guest teachers
