Have you ever experienced the feeling that you are lit from within? Like you were radiating with an inner glow, which emanates love for yourself and for the whole universe. Calmed by a deep sense of knowing that all is well, but without judgement, agenda or limit. Sensing that you are a beacon in the ocean of experience, a star in deep space, a flaming furnace on a cold winter’s night, or simply enjoying a sense of warmth and comfort that came from nowhere, with no reason, but could not be denied.
When I was around seven years old, I was walking down the road near my home, along a dusty path near a beach lined with Norfolk Pine trees. Seemingly from nowhere, I felt a warm golden light glowing out of my core, enveloping everything in its love. In that moment, I knew that all would be well, for myself and others, as long as we trusted in that inner glow and its emanation of unconditional embrace.
I’d done nothing in particular to deserve this spontaneous experience, but neither could I pretend it hadn’t happened. It lasted for a while then faded away, just as days pass and we grow older. Since then, I’ve spent a lifetime seeking to understand the mysteries of light.
Across the course of this meandering path, I always trusted that sense of inner knowing, which the ancients called gnosis; but I learnt to question it too. In fact, if there was a soundtrack to my path towards adulthood, it would be Supertramp’s Logical Song. I found out how all those grownups became so seemingly crazy and confused, as I became one of them.
One thing I’ve noticed is that no matter who we are, if we can find more of that inner glow, tend to it and help it grow, we can come from that place of self-love and inner warmth more often. When we glow from within, others respond, and the light overcomes the darkness of ignorance, selfishness and confusion.
Throughout my life, I have spent decades studying the world’s myths and legends during an MA on dreaming and a PhD on light, learning to meditate, teaching, sitting still in nature, and contemplating the universe as it is manifest both right here and far, far away. Finally, I trust my findings enough to share them. And, because we all want an experience of life as well as a meaning for it, I’m going to offer this teaching at retreat, as well as in a book.
Join me, Dr Geoff Berry, at the ‘That Inner Glow’ Autumn Retreat at Bawley Bush Retreat, Bawley Point, NSW, with Clare Lovelace & local guest teachers
Have you ever noticed how many traditions ask you to start your exercise with the right side? “Now, reach out with your right hand …”
The right hand side is associated with action in the world. Sometimes, i feel sympathy for my left side. Like it always comes second, left out in the darkness, while the right side enjoys the limelight, the focus, the initiatory glow. While it shines for the world, my left side is left in the shadows, the unconscious realms compared to the conscious, the passive, the unknown. I always thought this was a patriarchy thing, but it seems to cross boundaries and occur even in the most goddess loving circles. Maybe it’s just an inherited trait, a cultural habit … but still, those come from somewhere too and they continue because they are supported and not undermined, dissolved, marginalised by a stronger habit, a better choice.
But it struck me as i stretched towards the sky with my right hand, that the left hand of darkness is not secondary, left behind or out, but the support for our action or work as we reach out. The left hand side is what holds us together as we go out into the world, as we seek aid and build alliances, as we stretch out beyond our comfort zone, as we test our limits. The left hand (and foot, etc) is what we rest in, rely on, hold to, act out of. We are grounded in shadow, whether we like it or not, when we present our light to the world.
And like all good spiritual insights, this also works vice versa; the right hand becomes support as our left hand reaches out into the world. Thus, we build confidence throughout our system, round out character, become more whole. It is a matter of balance; one side out, one side down. Then, the other side out, the other side down.
As above, so below; as right, so left; as in, so out … and so on. Let 2021 be your year of focusing on your inner world, as you act in the outer world, so that both act in consort, one grounding and supporting the other, in turn, until all paths become one, as they always were. An ecologically inspired politics, growing out of a deep sense of comfort with ourselves and with our role in the cosmic tragicomic drama; with our lives, with our deaths; with our feeling for what happens and with our dreams, with our breath and heartbeat and muscles and sinews and nervous systems and our entire bodymind and consciousness free of all limit as well. With everything.
We packed the kids into the car at 4am, terribly nervous at driving into the face of unknown fire fronts, blocked roads, possibly a tortuous death, but prepared to risk it to make it to somewhere on the other side of this inferno. On New Year’s Eve we prepared to defend our home from ember attacks, with garden hoses and buckets of water. We had no power, no phone or internet service, and no idea of what was coming our way … we were in between Moruya and Batemans Bay:
This is what was coming towards Broulee, where i live. We were already in that thick smoke, so we couldn’t know there was much worse coming. Looking towards my home from the other direction.
We’ve been living with very heavy smoke for weeks, so low visibility had become the norm. I had digested the previous loss of some favoured forests and places, although i hadn’t properly grieved them yet. I still haven’t. When i return from my evacuation, i’m going to have to.
But in the meantime, i need to hear the voice of the muses, as they sing the song of the earth, as it cries. Hear something ecomythic, which matches the fear our kids are going to experience, as they awaken to the Australia – and the world – we have made for them. Something that gets beyond the sexiness of the flames:
… and integrates the death they leave behind them:
How my beloved local beach looks now: ashen.
But really, nothing can prepare them. I try to weave a fine line between informing my kids about the world they will inherit and making sure i don’t scare the living daylights out of them. I turned my ‘prepper/survivalist’ tendencies towards helping to build community resilience rather than retreating to a bush bunker/treehouse combo. In the same way, i turned my Zen monkishness away from dreams of a mountain hideaway to an active life in my community, leading meditation circles and integrating evolutionary adaptations into everyday life. I sing about the apocalyptic times we are hurtling towards as well as about the joy of being in the body, as a self-aware primate on a beautiful planet. I try to integrate what i know from my specific area of expertise – the symbolic life of human consciousness in the context of our relationship with nature – into modern life for anyone who will listen. It’s not very lucrative, but … here we go again.
The Apocalypse, in mythic terms, is both an end time and an experience of revelation; an awakening. For Christians, it involved a rapture in their God’s company. I’ve written before that the term apocalypse now should be seen as something more rational, an actual degradation of our earth in physical terms, an unfolding of the logic of capitalism; while the truly ‘mythic’ leap of faith today is taken by those who still believe in the profiteering dream of unending growth. For the ecological apocalypse we are now witnessing to carry its truest meaning, it must lead to an awakening of the human spirit to the true meaning and value of our beautiful, rare planetary jewel of a home.
And for this to occur, it’s the song of the Muses that has to come through now: those transcendent ladies of the night, whose voices embody earth spirit, whose intelligence is celestial in nature, who flow with the fractal dance of the cosmos even while they stand with those who fight injustice. What do they sing now?
I’ve been praying to hear their words ever since i moved to the coast. I felt their influence directly in every song i’ve composed since, starting with my ode to the salty spirits of the ocean. The Muses love with abandon, they embrace everything, and in their embrace the petty greeds, hatreds and ignorance of the human ego are melted away. The way of the future, they sing, is falling back in love with the earth.
Seek your way through the clutter of human confusion, they advise, to that place where the spirit of life courses through your veins, rises up your spine, emanates from your DNA and passes along the sacred path from generation to generation, from the ancestors to the children: be a part of the transmission as it is embodied in human consciousness.
The Muses sing: fight for the earth, nourish your home, tackle injustice, be the warrior who stands for what is right on the playing field of life. Demand better of those who are responsible for making decisions about how the purse of your nation is spent; make sure they care for the frail, the elderly, the children and our home. Hold them accountable if they don’t. And they don’t.
Calm the mind and focus your anger.
Love your kindred spirits, your families, your home, your breath. Hold onto whatever you hold sacred and dear but be prepared to let it all go. Face death with poise. Prepare your soul to transform into another dimension of loving embrace for life as you enter another plane. Appreciate the little drops of water as dew bedecks the grasses and rain runs along the leaves. Be in awe of the power of nature, the fury of fire, the stellar force of our sun behind and within it, the explosions of volcanoes, the surge of the tides, the subtle draw of lunar magnetism, your sense of your body rising and falling with every breath, the twitching of nerves, the relaxation following a good stretch, the way mist rises from tea in the morning.
Love aimlessly but fight with determination. Meditate upon what gifts have been bestowed upon you, take nothing for granted, but don’t let your thankfulness make you complacent with what can be transformed into something better. Glow from within. Remember your dreams. Stay in touch with friends and remain generous with colleagues. Inspire those around you. Connect with the spirit of life within and without. Walk in peace while you can. Be prepared for anything. Love.
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